A Must Read: The Courage to Be Disliked
The beauty of this book is not only that it is down-to earth and easy to read, but it inspires you to take control of your own life and your own happiness. Unlike previous philosophers such as Freud and Jung that argue, for example, that one’s past (such as Slavery and trauma) can explain one’s condition, The Courage to be Disliked turns this on its head. Using the psychology of Adler, trauma is denied as well as the causal relationships between the past and current states.
Here are some nuggets:
- The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment
- An Inferiority Complex is an excuse.
- Life is not a competition
- Admitting fault is not defeat
- Unhappiness is something you chose for yourself.
- For a human being, the greatest unhappiness is the inability to like oneself – Dare to be Different!
- To be happy, you have to deny the desire for recognition. When one seeks recognition from others, and concerns oneself only with how one is judged by others, in the end, one is living other people’s lives.
- One can have happiness only if one has freedom.
- FREEDOM is being disliked by others – it is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in accordance with your own principles.
- You are the only one worrying about your appearance.
- All problems are interpersonal relationship problems – work, partners, parents. The separation of tasks is key to solving interpersonal problems.
- Discard other people’s tasks – your role is to do a good job. Other people’s tasks are to judge you. Leave them to their task and do not interfere! You can make an effort to bring the horse to the water, but whether it drinks or not, is his task, not yours!
- Don’t fall for the LIFE-LIE – the state of coming up with all manner of pretexts in order to avoid life tasks (work, play, family, life, commitment, etc.).
- It is when one is able to feel I am beneficial to the community that one can have a true sense of one’s worth – being useful, making a contribution.
- Live like you are dancing – Dancing itself is the goal and no one is concerned with arriving somewhere by doing it. It is the journey that matters. Life is a journey.
- Life in. general has no meaning, whatever meaning life has must be assigned by YOU, the individual.
- The only thing lying between you, and the freedom and happiness you want, is COURAGE – courage to be yourself; courage to be different; courage to be disliked!
Note: Although psychology primarily tends to be associated with Freud and Jung, Adler is also a giant in his field. Books such as Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living as well as Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, are all Adlerian inspired.
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Dr. Auliana Poon
Dr. Auliana Poon is the founder and Managing Director of Leve Global and Exceptional Caribbean.
Auliana loves the Caribbean and believes in its people. Her personal mission is to change the world; to transform our societies. And this is precisely why she has spearheaded Exceptional Caribbean – a continuing mission to elevate tourism, trade and lives.
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